*One day you send a letter to your ****boss asking for an increase in your *
*** salary **! *
Dear Bo *$$ *
In thi *$ *life, we all need *$ *ome thing mo *$ *t de *$ *perately. I think
you *$ *hould be under *$ *tanding of the need *$ *of u *$ *worker *$ *who
have given *$ *o much ***$ *upport including * **$ *weat and ***$ *ervice
to your company .
I am ***$ *ure you will gue *$$ *what I mean and re *$ *pond * **$ *oon .
Your *$ ** **$ *incerely,
*The next day, you received this letter of reply **: *
Oh my dear:
I k *NO *w you have been working very hard. ***NO *wadays, *NO *thing much
has changed. You must have * NO *ticed that our company is * **NO *t doing
***NO *ticeably well as yet .
*NO *w the newspaper are saying the world`s leading eco *NO *mists are * **NO
*t sure if the United States may go into a *NO *ther recession. After the **
*NO *vember presidential elections things may turn bad .
I have * **NO *thing more to add * **NO *w. You k *NO *w what I mean .
Yours truly, *
Manager *
Friday, May 8, 2009
A Joke (18sx)
1) DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll
turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already!
(2) NAMES OF WIVES
A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... baby doll
3rd wife......china doll
2nd wife.....barbie doll
1st wife..... panadol !
(3) HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
This is how India got its name.....
The king was having sex with his mistress while
thinking a name of his
country and his mistress ask him "is it In
Dear?"...
(4) RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women because
every-night men get fresh
milk & 2 big papayas
women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of
starch!
(5) ARAB MAN
An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
'Your name pls.'?
"Abdul Aziz "
"Sex? "
"Six times a week!! "
"No, no, I mean male or female! "
"Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !"
(6) SERVICE
Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and
sometimes you have to be
satisfied with self-service"
(7) HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy
and .. Wife on the cover of "missing
persons"
(8) SWIMSUIT
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY
section.
(9) GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a
woman to take off her clothes and ask her
husband to pay for it.
(10) DENTIST
Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll
rather have a baby than have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the
chair accordingly."
(11) VIRGIN
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to
read :
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "
(12) OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - why???
Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten
everything.
"BEST JOKE" award winner in UK
One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw
Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to
him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says "You Chinese people bombed our
Pearl Harbor, get out of here."
The astonished Chinese man replied "It was not the Chinese who bombed your
Pearl Harbor , it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says "You sank the
Titanic; my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."
This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition in
Britain .
Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to
him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says "You Chinese people bombed our
Pearl Harbor, get out of here."
The astonished Chinese man replied "It was not the Chinese who bombed your
Pearl Harbor , it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says "You sank the
Titanic; my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."
This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition in
Britain .
Why We Need A Spouse?
A man wants to have a WIFE because she can make his life:
W : WONDERFUL
I : INTERESTING
F : FASCINATING
E : EXTRAORDINARY
But a woman will have to be careful in finding a HUSBAND
because he might be:
H : HOPELESS
U : UNACCOUNTABLE
S : SENSELESS
B : BORING
A : AUTHORITATIVE
N : NUISANCE
D : DISCRIMINATIVE
Why does a man want to have a WIFE?
Because she can provide:
W : Washing
I : Ironing
F : Food
E : Entertainment ( This is the best part!!! ) FREE of CHARGE!!!!!!!!!
Why does a woman wanna have a HUSBAND?
Because he is expected to:
H : House her
U : Understand her
S : Share everything with her
B : Buy anything/everything for her
A : and
N : Never
D : Demand anything from her!!!!!!!!!!
How attractive are U?
Hey, try it out and see how attractive you can be to the opposite sex.
1. Which place do u want to have a travel most?
A. Beijing ...................................................go to q.2
B. Tokyo ...................................................go to q.3
C. Paris ......................................................go to q.4
2. Have you ever cried when u see a touching movie?
A. Yes......................................go to q.4
B. No..............................................go to q.3
3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend still has not come after an hour of your
date with him/her, what will you do?
A. wait for another 30 mins.................go to q.4
B. leave immediately...............................go to q.5
C. wait until he/she comes..................go to q.6
4. Do u like to go to see a movie alone?
A. Yes......................................go to q.5
B. No..............................................go to q.6
5. When he/she asks for a kiss in your first date, what will you do?
A. Refuse...................................go to q.6
B. light kiss on his/her forehand...........go to q.7
C. Agree and kiss him/her...................go to q.8
6. Are you a humorous person?
A. I think I am.............................go to q.7
B. I think I am not.........................go to q.8
7. Do you think you are a capable leader?
A. Yes......................................go to q.9
B. No.......................................go to q.10
8. Which gender will you choose to be born if you are given a chance?
A. Male.....................................go to q.9
B. Female...................................go to q.10
C. I don't mind.............................Type D (go straight to results
below)
9. Have you ever got more than one boyfriends or girlfriends at a time
A.Yes......................................Type B (go straight to results
below)
B. No.......................................Type A (go straight to results
below)
10. Do you think you are intelligent?
A. Yes......................................Type B (go straight to results
below)
B. No.......................................Type C (go straight to results
below)
RESULTS
Type A : Congratulations! You can extremely attract the opposite sex!
You possess a charming beauty in the eyes of them. You not only have a
pretty figure,
but also have a humorous and gen tle personality. You should be a literate
person
and know how to get along with people and can allocate your time well, thus
you are
always popular among the opposite sex.
Type B : Quite good! You can easily attract the opposite sex, but you will
not easily into the loving trap. Your humor makes them want to get
along with you. He/She will be happy being with you!
Type C : Not bad! You cannot attract the opposite sex very well, but
you still have something good which make them like to get along with you.
You should be an honest person and have a unique view in seeing things.
You are quite friendly in the eyes of your friends.
Type D : Oh! You do not attract the opposite sex.
You do not have much knowledge, and not much intrinsic humane values.
You are too rude to the opposite sex. Thus you are not very popular among
them.
1. Which place do u want to have a travel most?
A. Beijing ...................................................go to q.2
B. Tokyo ...................................................go to q.3
C. Paris ......................................................go to q.4
2. Have you ever cried when u see a touching movie?
A. Yes......................................go to q.4
B. No..............................................go to q.3
3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend still has not come after an hour of your
date with him/her, what will you do?
A. wait for another 30 mins.................go to q.4
B. leave immediately...............................go to q.5
C. wait until he/she comes..................go to q.6
4. Do u like to go to see a movie alone?
A. Yes......................................go to q.5
B. No..............................................go to q.6
5. When he/she asks for a kiss in your first date, what will you do?
A. Refuse...................................go to q.6
B. light kiss on his/her forehand...........go to q.7
C. Agree and kiss him/her...................go to q.8
6. Are you a humorous person?
A. I think I am.............................go to q.7
B. I think I am not.........................go to q.8
7. Do you think you are a capable leader?
A. Yes......................................go to q.9
B. No.......................................go to q.10
8. Which gender will you choose to be born if you are given a chance?
A. Male.....................................go to q.9
B. Female...................................go to q.10
C. I don't mind.............................Type D (go straight to results
below)
9. Have you ever got more than one boyfriends or girlfriends at a time
A.Yes......................................Type B (go straight to results
below)
B. No.......................................Type A (go straight to results
below)
10. Do you think you are intelligent?
A. Yes......................................Type B (go straight to results
below)
B. No.......................................Type C (go straight to results
below)
RESULTS
Type A : Congratulations! You can extremely attract the opposite sex!
You possess a charming beauty in the eyes of them. You not only have a
pretty figure,
but also have a humorous and gen tle personality. You should be a literate
person
and know how to get along with people and can allocate your time well, thus
you are
always popular among the opposite sex.
Type B : Quite good! You can easily attract the opposite sex, but you will
not easily into the loving trap. Your humor makes them want to get
along with you. He/She will be happy being with you!
Type C : Not bad! You cannot attract the opposite sex very well, but
you still have something good which make them like to get along with you.
You should be an honest person and have a unique view in seeing things.
You are quite friendly in the eyes of your friends.
Type D : Oh! You do not attract the opposite sex.
You do not have much knowledge, and not much intrinsic humane values.
You are too rude to the opposite sex. Thus you are not very popular among
them.
DRINK WATER ON EMPTY STOMACH
It is popular in Japan today to drink water immediately after waking up every morning.
Furthermore, scientific tests have proven its value.
We publish below a description of use of water for our readers.
The water treatment had been found successful by a Japanese medical society as a hundred percent cure for the following diseases:
v Headache
v Body ache
v heart system
v arthritis
v fast heart beat
v epilepsy
v excess
v fatness
v bronchitis
v asthma
v TB
v Meningtitis
v Kidney and Urine diseases
v vomiting gastritis
v diarrhea
v piles
v diabetes
v constipation
v all eye diseases
v womb cancer
v menstrual disorders
v ear nose
v throat diseases
v Headache
v Body ache
v heart system
v arthritis
v fast heart beat
v epilepsy
v excess
v fatness
v bronchitis
v asthma
v TB
v Meningtitis
v Kidney and Urine diseases
v vomiting gastritis
v diarrhea
v piles
v diabetes
v constipation
v all eye diseases
v womb cancer
v menstrual disorders
v ear nose
v throat diseases
METHOD OF TREATMENT
1. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink four glasses of water each of 160 ml.
2. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minutes.
3. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal.
4. After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for two hours.
5. Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink four glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradulayy increase it to four glasses per day.
6. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life.
1. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink four glasses of water each of 160 ml.
2. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minutes.
3. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal.
4. After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for two hours.
5. Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink four glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradulayy increase it to four glasses per day.
6. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life.
7. Total to drink - 500ml X 8 per day
The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure main diseases:
1. High Blood Pressure : 30 days
2. Gastric : 10 days
3. Diabetes : 30 days
4. Constipation : 10 days
5. Cancer : 180 days
6. TB : 90 days
Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment for only 3 days in the first week to be followed by daily treatment.
This treatment method has no side effects, however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times.
1. High Blood Pressure : 30 days
2. Gastric : 10 days
3. Diabetes : 30 days
4. Constipation : 10 days
5. Cancer : 180 days
6. TB : 90 days
Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment for only 3 days in the first week to be followed by daily treatment.
This treatment method has no side effects, however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times.
Good Health to you all.......
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